I’m a girl

I’m thirty-three years old but have a hard time referring to myself as a woman. Perhaps I’m undoing some of Betty Friedan’s painstaking work. But If you look at the way I design, illustrate, dress, eat, throw, run, do push-ups, etc. no one can argue that I am a girl. I sound like I’m thirteen. I am the anti-Christ (or is it anti-Satan?) for the Goth ladies out there. By the way, this site is interesting: goth.net. I didn’t know that there was a huge Goth following of 80s music and I love the fashion advice in the faq:

Q: Does it have to be black?
A: While black is the predominant colour within the subculture, you don't have to wear all black all the time if you don't want to. Many goths wear items in jeweltone colours (dark blues, reds, purples, greens) or grey alongside the black. And there are quite a few Goths who have even made white look very gothic. So don't let that stop you either.

All black is boring. And sometimes, depending on your skin colorations, black is not a color for you. It might even make you look sallow. If black does this to you, then don't wear it. If you're wearing black to be gothic, you're missing the point. You want to look attractive in your eyes. If wearing black close to your face yellows your skin, don't do it. Stick to jeweltones like burgundy, forest green or dark blue. Wear what makes you look attractive. Not what makes you look gothic

Who knew? Anyway, I like the color pink. As much as I don’t want to admit it, I have downloaded Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera MP3s and thoroughly enjoyed the SpongeBob SquarePants movie. The work I do seems to get classified as feminine design or girly illustrations or the ubiquitous “cute”.

Yes, my artwork is feminine. I won a poster drawing contest in the second grade, back when I was a legitimate girl. The theme was “peace” or something equally ungraspable for a second grader, and naturally, I drew a girly poster. I used pastel chalk and enthusiastically created an ephemeral (and oddly drunk-looking) profile of a girl against a sickeningly pink background. I received a certificate and twenty-five dollars. I’m pretty sure that the only reason I won is because all the other entries featured the planet earth with different colored people holding hands.

It’s not that I can’t pump out the techno-futuristic-razor-edged flashiness that seems to be popular, especially among men. I just like the softness and accessibility of feminine and female illustrations – there’s something appealing about the looser lines and pretty colors. Speaking of razor-edged, I’ve noticed that razors for men are usually silver and embellished with frighteningly hi-tech looking details and seem overqualified to merely scrape stubble. Razors for women, on the other hand, typically come in demure pastel hues like pink and baby blue in a curvy, simple design. And the good product design people at Schick and Epilady know what sells. I’m not saying that I want my illustrations to appeal only to women – it’s just what comes naturally to me.

Recently I had this conversation:

Me: Look! I just finished my website –- what do you think?

Him: Wow…it makes me want to lactate.

So there you have it. I like being a middle-aged girl creating estrogen-infused, feminine, girly, cute designs and illustrations and wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m looking forward to when I’m wrinkled and stooped over and eighty -- I’ll be referring to myself as a happy old girl.